Experimental Condition
Upon waking Reih felt like an imposter in his own body, stretching out and melting into the fluffy bed after a sleep that could have spanned thousands of years. He was refreshed, anew and completely confident within a shell of confusion. It was like seeing the truth of the universe though a narrow, muddy lens. Or like the distant focus that accompanies reentering the world after countless hours spent working towards a single end. It was a cloudy clarity that he felt only certain individuals were privy to. It was the median between accomplished goals and purposelessness, but better than either. It was the engagement of a real purpose and adventure after the countless promises of revealed fake ones. It was to be god, and to see life for the first time.
His head was swirling when he sat up and it pounded with his pulse. He found himself in what looked like a rectangular hotel room. It had the feeling and look of a sunlit, morning home, only there were no windows. There was the large bed, a light wooden desk, a table, and two chairs on his side of the room. The rest of the area was an open space stretching roughly thirty feet, ending at a plain wall with a digital clock. It read 10:25 AM.
He had the strange sensation that he should know where he was. The light blue walls and gray carpet were bright and well lit enough that he squinted his eyes. On the left side of the room was a black door, it had a sign in bold white letters: REIH'S ROOM.
He didn't recognize the oversized, plaid pajamas he was wearing and felt dirty and in need of a shower. He sat for a moment on the bed trying to piece together how he got here.
There was a knock at the door and he sprang up, his head was spiraling, hung over from the injection. He opened it. Cody and Jack were standing there expectantly.
"It's Reih! Reih is in this one!"
"Reih!" Abby said from the previous car. She rushed up and hugged him. He blinked his eyes a few times, trying to better wake up. He was elated and felt less out of place with her around.
She looked him in the eyes.
"Do you know what happened?"
He winced, rubbing his head. He reached for his notebook like a person who is accustomed to having their glasses just at their side. It was gone. He looked panicked and made a scribble motion with one hand as his notebook.
"It's gone? Don't worry. All of our stuff is here. You should see this. This train is huge!"
Everything felt different when he realized it was a train. The others were still exploring, now disinterested in Reih. After going to the next car Jack and Cody came back. Jack looked preoccupied.
"It's a gym, but the next door is locked. I mean it isn't like the other doors. I don't think we can go any farther. I don't get it. We're the only ones here."
Abby looked at Reih.
"Let's check your other room for your notebook."
He raised his eyebrows questioningly and began to think this was some sort of dream, but he didn't mind. In fact, he found it interesting.
"Yeah, each of our cars has two rooms, too. Even our names are on the inside! I came from like ten cars back or something."
He followed Abby into a dark hallway with black carpet and metal doors on both ends. The parallel wall had a single door a few steps to the left. She took him into the room across the hall. Reih checked the door and again the inside of this door read: REIH'S ROOM. She dug through the place as though she already knew her way around much better than him.
This room had the same look as the other, only there was a bathroom and closet on the left. He noticed that the closet was full of all kinds of new looking clothes that weren't his- all evenly hung and organized. On the right was a dresser, an easy chair and a television. Past that was also empty space and a wall with a red, digital clock.
"Here it is! Your bag and notebook, by the dresser!"
He grabbed the notebook with the energy of someone just out of bed.
THANKS.
She gave him a funny look.
"Hey Reih, are those your PJs?
NO.
"Sure they're not…"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
"Anyway, I told the others we'd meet in some car way back- the one with the bar and pool table."
BAR AND POOL TABLE?
"Yeah, cool huh?"
He puckered his lips and nodded.
As Reih was leaving his car to the next coach, he felt a cold draft and looked down. The ground was moving through the thick grate. It was freezing on his bare feet. He then got a sense of motion. The walkway to the next car was only a foot long, and the space between cars didn't look like it allowed for wide turns. The area was otherwise encased in sliding plates of steel.
Walking through the next hall Abby turned to Reih.
"I think this is that other girl's room."
Reih winced, thinking it belonged to Sarah.
They walked through numerous, identical cars past the living areas of Hailey, Cody, Jack, Sarah, Tom, John and lastly Abby. Past Abby's area they entered what looked like a shower and laundry area. There was a door on the left leading to a small hallway with a set of ten showers. On the right side of the car was a washer, a dryer, and a line of metal sinks. The floor was white and blue tile with a drain in the center. Reih thought about the awkwardness of having to shower in the same area as everyone else. The idea of only a curtain and an unlocked door protecting him made him worry.
After the showers, they walked through a well-lit, gray library with eight aisles of books. There were two computers on the right side. This place started to seem more pleasant to Reih. Everything was so new that it gave him a childlike sense of wonderment.
Past the library they entered the car with the bar on the right. When Reih and Abby walked in, Tom and John were pouring drinks with Sarah at the bar. John sank a little.
"Awesome, it's not a fucking party without Reeihhh."
Tom looked up with partial interest.
"Yeah, good times." He had sunglasses on and a white shirt wrapped around his head like a bandana. He wore a tank top to show off his skinny but ripped build.
The entire room had green floors and red wooden lining like a giant pool table. And the low lighting also gave the feeling of being in a billiards bar; and there was in fact a pool table blending into the background in the far left corner. Three pinball machines sat close to a jukebox in the left corner closest to the library. Between the pool table and the jukebox was a large screen television with four easy chairs lined in a perfect semicircle at its feet. The right side was mostly taken up by the bar with classic wood trim and a staggering stock of various liquors.
Hailey limped in, walking as though she had sprained both ankles. She had a plaid pajama shirt and gray sweat pants on. She carried a pained look of endurance and anger. John smiled.
"I was hoping to see some more chicks. And who are you?"
"Hailey. I joined you guys at Terra Station. I wish I hadn't."
"I'm sure everything will be okay, don't worry. It's not so bad here." Sarah said to Hailey.
Cody looked around, "what happened before-"
"You mean before we got jumped? Yeah, who can tell me just what the fuck is going on," John said.
Abby looked disgusted, "shut up, don't you think we're trying to figure that out?"
"God, she's a feisty one," Tom said to John, who nodded with a smirk and then took a drink wincing and coughing.
She just shook her head. Reih's head was pounding and he felt strange in the room. He moved himself to be situated behind the pool table.
"Hey, come look at this shit," Jack said. He and Cody had moved in front of the TV. A disk was already in the player. A young man in black and gray came on.
"This train will transport you to the H-17 facility. Be patient. The trip is an extremely long one. Information packets are located in the top drawer of your dressers. Relax and enjoy your stay."
"What… that's it?" Cody started hitting buttons on a remote control.
From behind the pool table Reih got his first good look at Hailey and his stomach leaped. Her pale, skinny, and curvy build jumped out at him. She looked back with a knowing and scornful glare. His mouth stood agape and he diverted his gaze to the floor. What had happened came rushing back like a vivid dream. He tried to decipher what had actually happened and what was hallucination. He feared the worst and felt like a criminal on the run. She was standing too close to Abby for his liking and his new goal became keeping the two separate.
He glanced upward a little to see if she was still looking at him. She was. Abby looked over at Reih who was staring down, flush of color.
"Reih, what's wrong?"
He flipped to a page with a prewritten note.
NOTHING.
"Well, are you hungry? I'm starving."
He nodded enthusiastically, wanting to get away from Hailey. Abby led him into the next car which was a kitchen with a black and beige checkered floor and white walls. It had four circular, gray tables on the left side of the room, and an open closet with cleaning supplies. On the right side, behind a wooden counter, were three refrigerators, a large freezer, an oven, a microwave, a counter and sink, as well as a wall of cabinets filled with a variety of foods. It seemed well kept, like a dining area found in a nice hotel. It had the sense of someone else, just out of sight, taking care of it.
The mere sight of food made him feel famished. He reacted like a child in a playground and grabbed bread, roast beef, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, peppers and mustard and started making sandwiches. When he had five made Abby took interest. She was eating a bag of chips, looking over his shoulder.
"Are you making everyone sandwiches? That's nice."
He shot her a look of disapproval, then pointed to the sandwiches and back to himself.
"They're all yours? Oh, my god. There is no way." They moved to one of the small tables. He gave her one sandwich and started eating his that were piled up like pancakes. She sat with partial amazement while he ate.
"They should have put another kitchen on the train for you Reih."
He looked up with chipmunk cheeks, filled to the brim and close-mouth grinned, nodding gleefully.
After Abby finished her short meal she yawned.
"Hey Reih. I know we just got up but my head hurts something awful. I think I need a nap."
SWEET DREAMS
"Aww," she kissed him on the cheek and he froze like it was the first contact he had ever had. She left and he was still motionless, in the middle of chewing. Jack and Cody walked in, raiding the refrigerators.
"We'll drink later, and not with those assholes."
"Yeah, they're trying to ruin it or something."
They sat at the table next to Reih's, closest to the supply car.
Jack settled in, "I bet this is all some kind of test. Whatever, it's not that bad."
"Yeah I can definitely hang with this, it's a shitload better than all the other places we've stayed at…dude, did you talk to Sarah?"
"Watch it, Reih's right there."
"Who the hell is Reih going to tell? Reih! Are you going to tell anyone what we're talking about?"
Reih furrowed his brows and looked at the duo like they were retarded. He scribbled with one hand and ate with the other.
NO YOU IDIOT. IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, I'M MUTE.
Jack smiled, "Ha! Man that's the first 'lip' I've seen you give anyone... You know, you shouldn't take shit from those assholes in that bar room. Look at you," Reih took an innocent glance of himself, "you could rip their arms off."
"Yeah, man. If you just acted fearless and mean and shit they'd be too scared to say shit to you."
Reih nodded and kept eating his sandwiches. Jack redirected his attention to Cody.
"Anyway, she's been giving me the cold fucking shoulder when everyone is around, and I'm a shithead back to her…but alone she's different, I fucking swear." He held up his hand.
"What are you going to try to get with her or something?"
"What? No. I mean she's slutty as hell, but she's hot. I wouldn't mind doing stuff with her behind Tom's back."
"You've already done stuff."
"Well, I mean more stuff."
"Yeah, I won't mind stuffing her." The two giggled like school girls.
"Whatever, I'll share her if you want."
"I don't think she'll be into that. Did you check out that blond chick?"
"Yeah, not bad at all…" Hailey walked in slowly and stopped once inside. Jack leaned in and spoke softly, "Hold shit, speak of the devil."
"No shit."
She rolled her eyes motioning towards the gaming car, "how do you put up with those assholes? Jesus Christ."
Cody smiled and checked her out, "shit, we don't. Did you get injured or something?"
"Or something…I…don't remember."
"Yeah, I think all of us are a little hazy after that weird light."
She looked over to Reih who was hiding in the corner, staring down at his food. She grabbed a juice, an icepack, and sat down, sipping the juice and holding the ice to her head. She kept her eyes fixated on him, staring like a snake, burning holes through him from across the room. His discomfort grew and he started nervously adjusting his seat.
The tension halted Jack and Cody's dialog. Cody whispered to Jack, without looking up.
"Hey dude, what the hell is going on?"
"Fuck if I know. Man, let's get while the gettin's good…"
The two tried to be inconspicuous when they picked up and walked out- pretending like they had something to do. When Reih saw them leaving he grew shaky, hoping they would be coming right back. He thought about leaving, but then that seemed too obvious. He thought back. Maybe it was a dream, and even in that dream she had a mask…she couldn't know. It couldn't be real.
He took uneasy bites of his sandwich. He was thinking about taking the food back to his room. He looked up and she was still staring right towards him. He focused on the sandwich and took a gigantic bite trying to ease his nerves.
"What the fuck are you looking at?"
He looked at her with a motionless, full mouth and then rushed his eyes from left to right. She got up and walked over with difficulty, standing right in front of his table. He forcefully swallowed his unchewed food. Searching for something to do, he took another bite and she slapped the sandwich out of his hands.
"Don't just sit there like you're innocent…apo-"
His shocked, childish eyes met hers and were then diverted to a red stain on the inside of her gray sweat pants, and he looked away choking on nothing. She looked down and her mouth clamped shut. She ran her hand down inside her pants and when she pulled it out blood dripped over her fingertips.
Reih knew nothing good could come of the situation and thought to run away. He got up and she grabbed his arm. He looked with appalled terror as the blood was now on him. She sighed out, looking at his pathetic expression and letting him go. She needed to calm down, or she would be unable to cope with this mission.
He took a thick wad of napkins on the way out and rubbed like sandpaper over coarse wood to get the blood off.
He retreated into his room and thought about how impossible it would be to go back out there. That nightmarish, drugged state, that demon impulse, really wasn't him. It couldn't be him. As far as he was concerned Abby was showing him who he really was. All of those inner world visions didn't make room for the kind of warm sensation that she created. He realized that he wanted her more than them.
There were two forces pulling him in opposite directions. Abby would be out there, and her kiss lingered on his cheek like the last bite of some great dessert. But that blood also seeped into his arm like acid.
He thought if Abby knew, what would she do in this situation? She would probably apologize profusely, but also realize that it wasn't her fault. He thought that that would be the right course of action…but Abby couldn't ever find out. Her kind of purity would repel that sick vision, and him along with it. He didn't want to be a part of that accident. He wanted his hands to be clean of it. The only way was to convince Hailey that the person that was with her wasn't him and he would never hurt her intentionally- it was that drugged state that occurred unwillingly. But his guilt felt just as real.
A far darker thought occurred like lightening and much stronger than guilt. What if something like that had happened with…he couldn't even finish the thought without shaking. It was at that moment he realized he could kill to protect her. No, it hadn't happened. If it had, he would have seen it in her eyes.
He sat at the desk and started to write Hailey a note. It was difficult to start and know exactly what to say. The thought occurred that he should leave her alone for a while. He shook his head, looked around, and then widened his eyes, realizing something. He looked into his pajama pants with his mouth agape and the sight of dried blood made him feel sick to his stomach. Without even grabbing a towel he ran off to the showers, disregarding his anxiety.
Tom retired to his room. Sarah and John stayed at the far end of the bar that Jack and Cody had taken over. John got fed up quickly.
"Can't you assholes go drink somewhere else?"
Jack looked disgusted. "Fuck you. You had your turn already bitch."
Without Tom around John wasn't as confident in harassing the two.
"Forget it. Let's go hang somewhere else."
Sarah raised her eyebrows, "I don't wanna. I think I'll watch TV."
"What, are you serious? Fine, hang out with these freaks. Just don't come crying to me if they try something.
"You're drunk, go to sleep."
"Fuck you, I'll sleep when I'm good and ready." He stormed out.
"God, I'm gonna miss him," Jack said and Sarah laughed and sipped her drink. She moved to the center of the bar close to Jack and Cody.
"Yeah, I've had enough of him today."
Cody was uneasy, involuntarily thinking that she was about to start her verbal assault. Jack mixed a set of three screwdrivers filled mostly with alcohol and a little bit of juice for coloring. Cody took a sip of his and coughed.
"Jesus Fucking Christ! Ah…mmm."
Sarah laughed and sipped hers wincing and smiling.
"Yeah Jack, that's just orange colored vodka."
"Damn right, just the way I like it."
She smacked him on the shoulder playfully and her hand ran down his arm. Cody realized that he wasn't lying or even exaggerating before. Sarah looked back.
"Let's check out all the movies." She walked towards the TV with a somewhat loose footing. Cody leaned in towards Jack.
"Wow…"
"I told you."
The three sat in easy chairs and watched an action movie, not really paying attention and drinking more than they realized. Before long they were sitting on the floor. She had one hand on each of the legs. Cody was still taken aback.
"So…umm, why are you such a bitch when the others are around?"
"I have to be, what would everyone think?"
"Everyone who? Most of your friends left and only those two assholes are here."
"Hey, Tom's not so bad." Jack coughed on his drink, laughing. "What? He's not!"
Cody drank, "sure, whatever."
Sarah started speaking as though to a dog, "aww, poooor Cody. I'll make it up to you." She sprung up on all fours and licked his face. He looked shocked. Jack laughed uncontrollably.
Cody tried to escape, "I'm going to go get another drink."
She grabbed his crotch and he sprang up wobbly footed. He was attracted to her but repelled at the idea that Jack may be harboring feelings for her.
"Jesus Christ woman, have you no sense of propriety?" He fell over on his butt. Both Sarah and Jack burst into laughter and Cody joined in- also delirious. Sarah then looked confused.
"Hey, what's that mean? Pro…propry…"
Jack interjected, "Propriety, like your sense of right and shit…like not fucking more than one guy at once."
"Oh… then no. Can't we do that now?"
Cody sat with his mouth wide open for a moment.
"Welp, that's my cue. I think I'll finish my drinking in the healthy solitude of my room."
Cody poured himself a large drink and walked out with Sarah and Jack making out on the floor. He got momentarily disoriented and lost in the library. He then stopped in the shower room feeling like he needed to throw up in one of the sinks. He heard the sound of a running shower. He was swaying and enjoying swaying.
"Isn't it a little early for a shower?" There was no response.
"Oh, well don't say anything back then, rude bastard…" He considered for a moment, "if that's Reih, I'm really sorry."
Reih rolled his eyes. He continued scrubbing his body vigorously, trying to wash off the experience. When he finished he turned the water off and waited to drip dry feeling strange just standing there. He tried to shake like a dog but it didn't help much. Then there was the sound of another person entering the shower area. He thought it was the drunken Cody. He didn't want to come face to face with someone in the shower. There was a suspended suspense. He waited for some sort of indicator that it was safe to go out. At the other end of the stalls a shower started.
His clothes were outside on a bench and he was without a towel, so he waited a bit longer. He then peeked his head out.
Hailey was standing there naked, inspecting her body. "Ahhh!" She looked up and screamed. Reih flung back into the shower and crashed with several loud thuds.
"Fuck…You can't just be quiet if you just took a shower. What the hell is wrong with you?"
He stuck his hands out, scribbling without a notebook.
"I have a towel on, you can come out."
He waved his hand for "no."
"No, you see what I meant to say was 'get the fuck out of the shower room, now!'"
"He thought about how to get his clothes. He held the shower curtain over his waist and reached out for his clothes. His fingers stretched out still a foot short of his clothes. He kept trying with firm resolve, inching slowly closer. He reached a point where something had to give, he gritted his teeth trying to will his arm to grow longer.
"Reih…What… the hell …are you doing? Don't you have a towel?"
He shook his head and a trickle of blood came down the side of his face. He couldn't remember feeling more ridiculous and found himself wishing for his notebook, needing to somehow explain this ridiculousness.
"Whatever…I'm turning around."
He flushed bright red and retreated into the shower.
"I'm not showering until you're gone. Get your shit and go."
He took the shower curtain off the hooks, wrapping it around himself. He wobbled out and grabbed his clothes. He reattached the curtain with struggling clumsiness. Still wet, he dressed and ran out slipping and falling on his butt.
"God, you're helpless."